I think I know why I'm always eager to get back to school in the fall. The clamor of voices in my head during the summer is absolutely fucking deafening. Every half-baked, half-formed character wants to be heard. I'm treated like an overworked stenographer. "Here, asshole, take this down," one of them tells me. A mid-forties (and as yet featureless) woman is yelling: "Listen to me! Are you listening?" Even the kids are lining up to have their stories recorded: "She called me an idiot so I bit her."

Llewellen: Hide the pens and stationery. And bring me another beer.