HA HA HA... OH JEEBUS, THIS IS BLOODY HILARIOUS.

Are you a writer? A wanna be writer? Need a yuck?  Then THIS is the place for you.

Apparently (based on three separate samples), I write like:

a) Margaret Atwood
b)William Gibson
and
(are you ready?)
c) My main man, Oscar fucking Wilde! 

Below is my 'badge' to prove it.

I write like
Oscar Wilde.

(Actually, the 'badge' had some kind of feather that didn't survive the cut and paste.)

I tell you, I couldn't be happier with the outcome.  (Except for the Atwood shit, of course.)

So... who do you 'write like', eh?

I INVENTED TRIVIAL PURSUIT BUT NO ONE BELIEVES ME

So....

Does anyone want to play 'The World is Fucked'?

Rules: You wake up in the morning, catch up on the latest shit and savagery, and roll the dice.  Repeat until you take your own life.

The winner is the player who returned the game, unopened, for a fucking refund.



Update: This will be my last post for an indeterminate amount of time.  Please be kind to each other.

CORRECTION

In the post below, I made reference to a high boot challenge during Sunday's World Cup Final.  I mistakenly said it was Iniesta who received said boot.  It was, of course, Alonso.  It's painful to watch this again.

That is one of the nastier challenges I've seen in quite some time. Should have been a straight red card.


Tomorrow, we move on.

BIT OF A RUBBISH CUP FINAL, EH, WOT?

I was unimpressed with the quality of football played today.  Overall, the winners were the more enterprising team.  The Dutch rather engineered their own loss.  There were too many cynical, dumb challenges by the men in orange.  (They deserved most of the bookings they received.  And the high boot challenge on Iniesta should have been straight red.)  That said, the Spanish are very skilled divers.

Not a memorable game.   Some decent goalkeeping at both ends.  But a pretty crap game all around.  Very disappointing stuff.

STAYIN' ALIVE

During the game today (which Spain won), my boss called.  There was a position on offer.  Part-time for the fall.  A school-based, community outreach type of thing.

I said yes.

When I hung up, Spain scored.

Football is magic, eh Senor?

WORLD CUP PREDICTIONS

Ahem... let me say at the outset, I've had a few brewskis.

Germany v Spain
The German side is young, talented, fit, composed and single-minded. And they are exceedingly well coached. Although they dissected Australia, England and Argentina, they also lost to Serbia and scored only once against Ghana. I think four goals  against their opponent in this match might be a stretch. Missing Mueller won't help; but there is a shitload of talent on the bench. This is the game that will tell me whether Neuer is the real thing.  Watch out for Podolski in this match.

The Spaniards, I think, are equal to the task -- although the goal differential during the tournament might lead one to believe that Spain is fucked. (Anything can happen in a single game... and often does. I'm expecting what might be considered an upset.  Although with these two teams, the word really doesn't apply.)  I would like to see Cesc Fabregas in the starting lineup, sore shoulder and all.  You have to start the way you wish to proceed... and a bit more creativity sure as hell wouldn't hurt.  Casillas must have the game of his life.

Holland v Uruguay
The Netherlands have the easier draw... on paper. But make no mistake: Uruguay will come to play. Expect the 'kitchen sink' from these guys.  The age difference between the teams isn't terribly significant.  (This said by an old man leaning towards Holland.)

I haven't checked out who will be missing from the match due to accumulated cards (well, yes, Suarez will miss the game, to be sure) or injuries.  This could be significant. I really should check. Ah, fuck it.

Semi-Final Predictions  (And I absolutely suck at this):

Germany 2, Spain 3 (in extra time)

Netherlands 3, Uruguay 1.

Final:

2 -2 after extra time.  Netherlands beats Spain on penalties.

Yeah.  I'm going all in with orange.

Llewellen's picks:

Llewellen thinks Germany will destroy Spain (he figures Klose will get a hat-trick) and put on a clinic against the Dutch in the Final.  We've got a beer riding on it.

Truthfully... I don't care what happens.  I just want to watch four smashing football matches between now and  Sunday.

HAPPY 4TH OF JULY

TO THE GOOD FOLKS

OF THE UNITED STATES

Today I BBQ'd some ribs.  

Now I'm enjoying a frosty Sam Adams.

I love holidays

No matter whose they are.

FOOTBALL -- NOT FOR THE FAINT OF HEART

You have to feel for Ghana.  They had it won.  Almost but not quite.  Ultimately undone in about ten seconds by a hand ball, a crossbar, and a couple of botched penalties.

It is truly a beautiful game.  (And I suspect that Luis Suarez is only too happy to miss the semi-final.  How often do you save the day by taking a red card?)

And the Dutch sending Brazil packing after ninety minutes?  Yowza! Lovely, lovely stuff.

Tomorrow's game between Germany and Argentina should be a fucking rip-snorter.

LIVE LONG AND PROSPER?

Okay.  So you might be predisposed to beat a hundred. Would knowing this be a good thing?  And what about the flip side... the poor bastard who has his genes sniffed and prodded only to be told he'll  be dead in week.

I prefer to live in ignorance of my best before date (which has, alas, already occurred).  Thanks, but no.  I'll continue to roll the dice.  And bone up on the most satisfying suicide techniques.

Living to a hundred?  Only if I could still drink, smoke, get it up, and be assured I'd see England win the World Cup.  Otherwise, another five seems more than plenty.