Wednesday, June 17, 2009

FORENSIC FUCKDOODLING

I'm sitting here looking at a black and white picture of myself. I'm about a year old (maybe, I guess), giving what appears to be a thumbs up sign. I'm wearing white shoes, white socks and some kind of one-piece, unisex baby garment with a rounded collar. I have a batch of curly hair, two slightly sticky-out ears, and a huge grin. This is the picture I've chosen for the Grade Six Graduation DVD. The segment is called 'Guess the staff member'. I can promise: no one's gonna guess that baby is me.

In a convoluted, out of context, but somehow apropos? story, here's a guy who -- at the age of 56 -- is now pretty certain that he was abducted in 1955. (Strange that his biological father, who is still alive, has declined to provide a DNA sample. I mean, hey, WTF?)

I look at my picture and think: maybe that same shit happened to me. It would certainly explain a few things.

By the way, I'd gladly show you my picture. Unfortunately, I Photoshopped the sucker (to remove the Scotch Tape, gin and tears my mother managed to conjure whilst sticking the thing into an album). I didn't save the work... and I'm not gonna redo it tonight. That would be a complete buzz kill. Still, the picture below comes pretty close.

2 comments:

Woozie said...

I love what Mama Boogaloo did with your hair!

DoctorBoogaloo said...

My boyhood friend was Don King. Mama used to coif both of us.