ABANDON HOPE OF: SATISFACTION, REFUNDS OR DEATH WITH DIGNITY
Sunday, December 20, 2009
HOW THE TERM ENDED
Friday was a fun day at school. Party central. The kids were fucking nuts (of course) it being but seven days until Santa drops a load down the chimney and all. But they were nuts in a good way. And the ones who have the hardest lives had the biggest smiles on their little chops. Most of these kids realize that school is a good place to be. (It beats the hell out of foster care; you know, those interim placements that separate you from your siblings while mum and dad struggle with jail and rehab.) The hugs and hand-drawn cards and toothless smiles get me every time. And you want to gather them up and take them home. But you can't. You want to help, but you can only do so so much. And on the drive home, you think about them. And you're thankful for your job. But sometimes the job hurts. Not as much as the kids hurt, though. Not ever that much.
1.1 Diners shall have the right to refuse a stomach pump. 1.2 There is no Right 1.2 2.1 Diners shall have the right, duty and obligation to pay in full. 3.1 See Right 2.1 3.2 to 5.5 These Rights have been removed by the Kitchen Staff.
DR. HUGO Z. HACKENBUSH
LUNCH COUNTER DIETICIAN
THE DINER'S BILL OF RIGHTS, Sections 5.6 to 7.4
5.6 Diners have the Right to tip generously. Neglect of this Right shall be at the expense of the Diner's desire to leave. 6.3 This is essentially a re-wording of 5.6 6.4 Diners are encouraged to use the washroom facilities, especially on All-Fibre Tuesdays. However, 'Floaters' must be removed. 7.4 Bread sticks are not a meal. And although they are provided free of charge and in abundance, there is a limit to Llewellen's tolerance.