ABANDON HOPE OF: SATISFACTION, REFUNDS OR DEATH WITH DIGNITY
Thursday, March 4, 2010
Ernest Hemingway once remarked that his best work was a six-word story (that he may, in fact, have been challenged to write.) The actual genesis of the thing is still shrouded in mystery. And I love that.
Here is Hemingway's story:
For sale: baby shoes. Never worn.
There. Now you can tell that cute chick at the coffee shop that you read a short story last night. That'll impress the hell out of her.
1.1 Diners shall have the right to refuse a stomach pump. 1.2 There is no Right 1.2 2.1 Diners shall have the right, duty and obligation to pay in full. 3.1 See Right 2.1 3.2 to 5.5 These Rights have been removed by the Kitchen Staff.
DR. HUGO Z. HACKENBUSH
LUNCH COUNTER DIETICIAN
THE DINER'S BILL OF RIGHTS, Sections 5.6 to 7.4
5.6 Diners have the Right to tip generously. Neglect of this Right shall be at the expense of the Diner's desire to leave. 6.3 This is essentially a re-wording of 5.6 6.4 Diners are encouraged to use the washroom facilities, especially on All-Fibre Tuesdays. However, 'Floaters' must be removed. 7.4 Bread sticks are not a meal. And although they are provided free of charge and in abundance, there is a limit to Llewellen's tolerance.