TRUE TALES OF SCHOOL, VOL. 1

So I'm covering the Kindergarten lunch today. And a kid comes to me and says another kid just plunged a spoon down his pants, in the cloakroom. I asked why. The kid tells me: "He stuck the spoon up his bum, pulled it out, and told me me to sniff it."

Sure enough, in the cloakroom, there's a kid with a spoon up his ass.

I passed this one along to the Executive Branch.

They make the big dough. Let them deal with it.


I'm serious, folks; you can't make this stuff up. (Well, I guess you could. But I daresay, you'd either be super prescient... or you'd have a problem we're ill-equipped to deal with here at The Lunch Counter.)

Now... I really gotta get me some sleep.